Moving

   So I moved away from my hometown of Hanover and it would seem my life has turned upside down. However, it hasn't. You'd think moving away from a place you've come to love and know your entire life would upset you beyond words. Well, it did... But did it really? I mean, I've been driven from Hanover to my Dad's house (Fall River, New Bedford, Fairhaven) my entire life. Every weekend I'd want to see my dad, nothing would stop my visits to him because I loved him and every time I saw him it became a vacation of a sort. You see, my step-father was and still is, a horrible person. Aside from the abuse we experienced from him, he possessed a negative attitude that plagued my house in Hanover. He would put everyone in a horrible mood if he himself was in a bad mood. It created a tremor within the family of the household, everyone would take sides, everyone would argue, and verbal or physical violence would ensue.This progressively became worse over the years. Living in Hanover was simply horrible because of my step-dad and being carted away from this house to my dad's became a way of life and a way of release.
   Therefore, switching locations and ultimately changing my lifestyle was almost...smooth? Yes, I am depressed, but who isn't sad about something? I'll always be saddened by the distance between me the people I love and care about in Hanover. I miss my girlfriend, my friends, and the great teachers I had. I'll always miss being around them all because they made Hanover bearable. And I haven't even spoke to my mom in about a month or so?(Somewhere around that) And what makes this even scarier to think about is that I truly believe she will continue to ignore and not talk to me or my brother for a long time. The method of our departure from Hanover wasn't smooth and really broke my mom's heart. She takes this entire situation as if we don't love her and that we left because we hate her and hate living with her.But what she doesn't understand or fully grasp is what my brother and I experienced in that house. She doesn't understand how much she means to us or how much we love being around her. Our entire lives we experienced horrors too graphic to share on this post or even to share with the ones closest to us .We never told her because after awhile, it seemed normal and even if we felt ill with aggravation and depression we'd close our mouths just so we wouldn't start a scene. I regret this so much because once we did tell her and once we did something about it, it was too much for her to handle, her world was thrown into limbo; her world was shattered into a million shards of confusion and disbelief. She still thinks we've fabricated the events and stories we've been confiding inside ourselves our entire lives. It's a shame she has such a fucking manipulative scumbag as a husband because he is what stands between her and the truth. He has her believing we are horrible people; horrible children who couldn't handle his definition of "discipline" and just hated him for "no real reason".Hopefully, one day in the future she will see him for the monster he is, maybe she never will, but what I've learned from this experience is that Karma is more real than anything I know.
   One day my step-dad will get what he deserves and that comforts me. But aside from that, I've come to realize through this entire process that my life is a on better track. I'm with my father, he is my best friend and pushes me to be my best. This was never something I had in Hanover. I'm safe with him and secure, something I never could feel living with my mom and step-dad. My father provides me with the perfect environment for school, to relax, and to be myself. In fact, I'm actually taking 3 AP Classes and taking 4 AP exams this spring,(Hopefully 5 if I qualify). I've never felt this confident in my abilities in my entire life. My Dad also has me doing Fall and Winter lacrosse, something my step-dad wouldn't allow because frankly, it wasn't worth doing and would cost him a "fortune"($140). But anyways, the new house I live at in Fairhaven happens to also neighbor Fairhaven High's chorus teacher and drama club coordinator, Rick Breaker.  Rick's going to be further teaching me how to play the piano and I'm going to tryout for the Drama Club's next play, Beauty and the Beast.
   So, what's the point to me even blogging about this? Well, besides the fact I promised Mrs. Fay, I suppose I wanted to vent about my feelings, opposed to some boring analysis of a NYtimes article. I've found that the only way to understand my own feelings is to write them down in words, so I can stare at them until they make sense.